Why is that?

Have you ever noticed that certain accessories tend to make people appear more distinguished/intelligent than they really are? Or, in some cases maybe even give them the legitimacy of intellect for pulling off the look. It is also possible that there is no correlation whatsoever, but regardless, I'm talking about: glasses, silk robes, beards, fedora styled hats, a blazer and jeans (how did that happen?), kilts, certain suspenders, NOT bow ties though (that just makes you look like a pretentious deuche outside of the black and white tux), and the rarely seen pipe.

Last night, three separate men sat at three successive tables outside in a diagonal line from me. Each wore beards, and each were smoking something different. Unfortunately for me, I was sitting down wind, and picked up a second hand bombardment of assorted styles.

The first, and closest beard was older and gleaming in well seasoned maturity. He was smoking a minty clove. The second beard was middle aged, grungy, and hardened. He smoked a cigarette; Marlboro Reds no doubt. The last beard looked mid to late twenties, and recently introduced to responsibility. He was the only one who sat in the company of another, a young lady, and he was puffing on an old tobacco pipe. I've never smoked a cigarette, nor wanted to because of any actor on t.v., but damnit, I'd kind of like a nice smoking jacket, a glass of scotch in one hand, and a finely made pipe in the other. Maybe then people would think I was more distinguished and intelligent than I am.

What does this say about socioeconomic status and trends? How the hell should I know? To this bizarre bean, who swiped Old Man Jenkin's pipe, and tried to impress that girl over coffee outside though: you know who you are...